I Am Not Tim Ferris.

I am not Tim Ferriss.
But I like him.
I am inspired by him.
Inspired by the people he interviews on his podcast.
I read his book and it unlocked a part of me I thought was lost.
A part of me I wish I hadn’t given up.
A part of me that finds hope in accomplishment.
I am inspired by Walt Disney, Seth Godin, Steve Jobs, Benjamin Franklin.
James Altucher.
I want to do great things.
But I am mired in debt and excuses. I am crippled by fear. Crippled by having grown up with too much potential. And learning when I got older that I was only playing in little league.
When I read, I resonate with the greatness set before me. I can see how it all comes together. This gives me confidence that I, too, could lead.
All great art is that way. Great art makes you feel so deeply that the shared feeling makes you believe you, too, could touch the heavens. That you, too, could make somebody feel the way you are feeling right now.
But then how to get started?
And I want to start on so many ideas.
I’m so good at starting.
This first post, for instance, I’ve written it at least 12 times.
I have an entire blog that I haven’t published because I’m waiting to find my voice.
But my voice changes every time I read a different author.
Every. Single. Time.
I have just enough talent to think I could do something great if I could only focus.
But I’ve never been able to decide on what I want to focus.
So I’ve never accomplished much.
I got a college degree.
I worked as a Java Engineer.
Got a job in advertising.
Got a side job as a dueling piano player.
I do have the love of an amazing and beautiful woman.
That is something.
That is a lot.
We’re engaged.
I want to give her more when I give her myself.
I want my son to be proud of his father.
I want my father to be proud of his son.
I want to feel like I’ve attained a significant portion of my potential.
And that something I’ve written or done will be seen by a stranger and it will make a difference to him. Or to her.
I don’t need to be famous.
But I don’t want to be invisible.
And I want to be as good as my deep down self tells me I am.
And I am afraid I’ll end up as a dreamer that did nothing. That didn’t even try to follow his dreams. That didn’t have the decency to fail brilliantly. To lose everything in the pursuit. That stayed safe and in debt and trapped and mediocre. Dreaming big dreams.
So in many ways, I am not at all like Tim Ferriss.
So instead I will be me.
I am Ernest Fitzgerald.
Nice to meet you.

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